So why did you write an FAQ page for yourself?
Mainly because I can’t seem to write an actual description of my life that doesn’t read like a (boring) novella. There are lots of things that I either want to or feel I ought to share, but can’t seem to actually write coherently. Also, having a website, you get a lot of the same questions over again, so it’s nice to be able to answer most of them in one place.
So who are you?
I am a person. Well, I’m a cyborg. My body doesn’t actually, you know, stay alive on its own, so I have machine parts to help take care of that. They aren’t cheap to maintain. Also, since the FDA has yet to approve a closed loop system, I have to spend a fair amount of time keeping everything running smoothly.
That sounds like something from a dystopia novel.
Yes… Is there a question?
Wouldn’t that make getting on in public hard?
A little. It’s not like I have a choice, though. Getting through airports is tough, since I set off metal detectors. Also apparently the soap I use to clean things shares certain chemical properties with the explosives they swab you for when you set off the metal detectors. And then the Homeland Security explosives guys in the detention room don’t know how the medical devices actually work. Good times…
So do you, like, live in a hospital?
No. They try to keep me away from hospitals since I’m immunocompromised as well. Despite this, some 10% of my time in a given month is spent in a hospital. If I’m suddenly not active for a long spell, that may be why.
So does all that medical stuff give you cool superpowers?
Not really. Though if my blood sugar is low enough I can start speaking different languages. Problem is, I’m not always sure which language I’m speaking, and it’s usually a different one from those around me. Don’t ask me what I say in this state; I seldom remember afterwards.
There was that one time when I was in a coma and started having really funky inception-style dreams with awkward landscapes and tons of metaphors, although that’s less of a superpower and more of an altered state of consciousness. I don’t recommend it.
Can I chat with you on skype/twitter/IRC?
Unless I’ve indicated otherwise, odds are the answer is no. Because my illness takes up a lot of my time, communication, especially of the synchronous variety, is difficult. In addition I have a general protocol of trying to minimize the number of accounts on different platforms and websites which I have to remember exist.
As of writing, I do not have pages for this blog on any social media platform. If you see such a thing, it is probably a hoax. I do have a YouTube channel of the same name as the blog, and a discord account with which I lurk under different pseudonyms, identifiable chiefly by my personal seal.
Correspondence regarding official website matters, such as privacy and copyright issues, should be directed through the official contact page or by email.
Why does it take you so long to respond to [thing]?
Odds are you caught me just as my symptoms started to act up. I can’t guarantee that I’ll get back to you in a reasonable timeframe. It’s also possible that I’ll see whatever it is when I’m not in a proper state of mind and postpone replying until I can type coherently.
So what happens if you keep doing things and ignore your symptoms?
Well, obviously it depends. The short answer is “bad things”. Though what bad things, and how quickly they happen depends on the specifics. But basically, my life expectancy while completely ignoring my illness is somewhere between fifteen minutes and twelve hours. It’s not a particularly fun or painless life expectancy either, so I try to avoid it.
Have you tried a healthier diet to control whatever it is that ails you?
Indeed I have. At my latest endocrinology appointment my doctor told me that at the rate I was losing weight I would starve to death before the summer. My dietician then gave me some suggestions to help triple my caloric intake. I don’t know whether this is in fact heathy, but evidently my steps towards the “healthy” diet put fourth by my public-school health teacher were part of what’s killing me.
So you’re American?
Kinda. I live in and attend school in the United States, though most of my primary education was conducted in Australia. This has left me in a bizarre sort of limbo where I never know how to spell words properly and spontaneously switch accents when recalling tales from my early childhood.
What time zone do you live in?
My smartphone informs me that I run primarily on Eastern Time, though with my sleep schedule I’m not sure I necessarily agree.
Exactly what diseases do you suffer from?
Ha. If you can give me a definitive answer, I’m confident there’s a medical scholarship in it for you. Better minds than my own have tried to come up with an all-encompassing term
What are your political views?
I try very hard not to tie myself to any particular term or allegiance, partly because I want to keep an open mind, partly because traveling has shown me how much definitions for political terms vary between countries and regions. I am opposed to unnecessary human death and suffering. I invite my policy positions to be judged on that metric.
Kirk or Picard?
In my younger and more vulnerable years I would have said Kirk, but at this stage in my life I gravitate more towards Picard. Though truthfully, neither. Star Wars all the way.
What platforms and software do you use?
Laziness and economics prevail here. I use a Windows PC for things that require a mouse and keyboard, and an iPad Pro for most everything else. I use an iPhone for communications and as a conduit for my life support systems.
What’s the deal with the logo in the top left corner?
The pencil-and-compass thing? That’s just a personal seal I came up with a few years ago when I needed a screensaver for my iPad. I drew it by hand, then added a few touch ups in MS Paint (I know, I know,).
It’s based extremely loosely on the seal of the German Democratic Republic. The story goes that the soviets had intended to give the GDR a hammer and sickle flag like the rest of the eastern bloc, but even the soviets acknowledged that the German proletariat was more developed and educated than its Russian counterpart, so they went with a compass instead of a sickle.
I like the look of the GDR flag, but I’ve never been much of one for any kind of labor involving hammers. I am physically disabled, after all. So I made it a compass and pencil, and instead of grain, had a couple of olive branches, symbolizing understanding and cooperation. The whole thing symbolizes the importance of intelligence, education, and creativity in overcoming physical hurdles- by embracing the compass, pencil, and olive branch, we can overcome the need for men to toil with hammer and sickle.
If I ever decide to sell things on here, that symbol is probably going to make an appearance. Over the years I’ve given out a few buttons with the seal on it to friends and loyal readers, but so far that’s all.
How old are you?
Twenty-something, although that’s a bit reductive. I have the medical history of an octogenarian and the college student peer cohort of a late teenager.
How did you get this blog?
Having a place to add my voice to the many thousands shouting aimlessly into the void of the web has been a goal of mine for many years. For a while before I actually fully committed to a blog format, I was writing these suspiciously post-like essays in my free time. I had no place to really post them. I did have my Facebook account, but I didn’t like using it for these kinds of posts for a variety of reasons.
A few months prior to launch, while I was toying with the idea of starting my own website, an old family friend mentioned that they had this domain that they were going to give away (something about getting hired by a newspaper with restrictions on what employees could publish in their free time) and wanted a good home for it. The name just fit for me. After much hair-pulling regarding domain transfers, the thing finally became operational shortly after New Years 2017.
How often do you post new stuff?
There is no posting schedule, and so I post precisely when I mean to. That might be once a week, it might be once a semester. It all depends on whether I have something to say that I think it worth saying.
Why can’t I comment/Why isn’t my comment displaying?
First, in order to comment, you must have an account on this website. After this, your first comment must be approved by a human to ensure that you’re not a spammer. After this, your future comments may be flagged by software for review.
Do you have any important legal or financial disclosures? Have you sold out?
I own shares in a handful of companies that I occasionally talk about, the main one being Disney. My family also has ownership in Disney Vacation Club. We bought into these things because we like Disney, not the other way around, but if you’re the kind of person who gets excited about emoluments, there you go.
If you are indeed the kind of person who enjoys legally-compelled disclosures, you may enjoy our riveting privacy policy.
Is this blog a reliable source?
I mean, no. Some, though not all, of my writing is cited, and on that stuff I try to keep my ramblings within the bounds of what’s been established by others, but I wouldn’t trust me for an academic paper. Unless it’s just about my opinion and experience, and then maybe, although I reserve the right to change my position based on new evidence.
How can I support you?
If you’re in a position to throw money at things over the internet, you can support this blog via Patreon. If monetary contributions aren’t in the cards right now for whatever reason, that’s perfectly fine. You can help support the growth of this blog by sharing it, and by providing feedback.